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Bleed Blue

I looked on my Facebook this morning and saw someone say that they were proud to be Indian because we (I say “we” in the loosest form here) beat Australia in cricket. Sitting in a pub in Birmingham yesterday with my family, it was clear that that everyone was in a good mood. Boundaries and sixes were celebrated with noise that could probably be heard from India. However, this morning I stumbled across a documentary called “India’s Daughter” about the violent Delhi gang-rape of aspiring medic, Jyoti Singh, and it left a bitter taste in my mouth about patriotism.

All over my social feeds yesterday, there were plenty of people that were jubilant about the victory. It created a great atmosphere over lunch, although there were a few people that inevitably took it too far. I watched some of the reactions to players like Virat Kohli and M.S. Dhoni, the vice and captain respectively, as many people created a cult of personality around them. Sure, they are incredibly talented individuals, but there have already been allegations of match fixing with both of them at the very top and not to mention Dhoni’s infamous goat sacrifice scandal 6 years ago now which saw him banned from games.

It is very easy to look at sport in isolation. To watch and enjoy a game at a time, and ignore the politics that is happening behind the scenes. To be honest, a lot of the people who benefit from these games would prefer it that way – so you were not aware of what is going on. And if you don’t think that sport, even cricket, is political…then let me direct you to every India and Pakistan game that has been played since 1947. Whilst I can understand why it is exciting to see Indians of all shapes, sizes and genders colouring their faces in blue paint, donning their jerseys and singing in the crowds, it feels like this doesn’t translate outside of the stadium.

The problem with these sorts of tournaments, is that whilst they are a release from the mire of what else is going on, they do nothing to tackle the ongoing injustices that are plaguing Indian society. Speaking as an NRI (non-resident Indian), I am sure there are many that would label me a hypocrite. However, listening to the story of Jyoti, who had her entrails dragged out from her private parts with an iron rod before being thrown into the road, tells me that a cricket game is not going to fix it. If anything, it is more of a distraction.

Passion and enthusiasm are key. When you hear the cries of “India Zindabad!” during these games, it is fantastic to see the voices of many joining the chorus. Whether they are men or women, young or old. But we pick and choose the parts that we are patriotic about – the conversations about female foeticide, rape, a lack of sexual education, inequality, cultural backwardness, changes in attitude are all swept under the carpet. Not only are we not proud of that India, we choose to ignore it and let those individuals suffer in silence – shaming them for our own crimes of ignorance.

I don’t want to dampen any celebrations. It is fantastic that India are through in a tournament that comes around all of the time, with individuals that get paid too much money and who might be cheating. I mean in reality; I couldn’t give a toss. What concerns me is that we cheer for a nation that seems to be doing well in the ICC World Rankings, but is also dubbed as the “rape capital of the world” in Delhi.

I mean we could practice our bowling and batting, because it is easier. It also means someone (probably not you) will make a lot of money. But does it really make you proud to be Indian? When you watch that and realise all of these things going on in the background, does it make you “bleed blue” as everyone seems to say?

I wouldn’t say that I am that sort of patriot yet.

Good Gossip

Eleanor Roosevelt once said: “Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” But isn’t it true that everyone discusses people? So are we all small minded? What I know to be true is that gossip as a practice is loathsome. And I do not find it interesting to speculate or discuss other people’s lives unless they are sitting in front of me. Because that means that they can respond.

I walk away from these sorts of conversations. I do not scour the Daily Mail for celebrity gossip columns, neither do I trawl the Times for individual political scandal, yet it is all around me. So why there is a need for us to discuss each other and what do we classify as gossip? Anyone who went to a high school or was a teenager knows what gossip is. The truth is that even if you don’t care for it, like me, there has a point at least once in your life when you have passed judgement on a person or the actions that they have taken.

Yet, this notion doesn’t satisfy me. After having a conversation with a few friends, it got me thinking about why we regard judgement to be a derogatory term. He judged me. She made a comment about me. Now you are remembering a comment that he or she made and I can bet it is making you grit your teeth. Why do we always remember the comments that make us feel small or demean us? The conclusion we came to is that judgement is not a bad thing – it is an instrument. A filter that allows you to understand a person and whether you want to make a connection.

With this in mind, it is easy to see why we gossip. We are desperate to make connection, and judgement forms a part of that. You make judgements in your head a thousand times a day with a thousand people you have never met. It is natural. But that does not mean that gossip has to be a bad thing. Purely discussing a person does not necessarily mean that you are trashing them. There is a fine line between praise and gossip – except praise doesn’t spread like wildfire.

So let us try an experiment. Practice good gossip. Give yourself a chance to say nice things about people and notice the good in them. Let judgement be in your corner and allow yourself to praise those that you value. Don’t get sucked in to an endless debate of cynicism and bile – rise about it. You are better than that. And if each of us just chose to spread this secret, one by one, word by word, then what is stopping random acts of kindness being a little less random?

Put simply, gossip hurts because it can be anonymous and snowball. But maybe it is time we stopped seeking adulation for praise and started being grateful for all of the great people making a local difference. Let’s anonymously start making the world a better place.