Watch this. Make a cup of tea or press the spacebar on your keyboard to pause Spotify. Then plug in your headphones (if you haven’t already) and spend 20 minutes watching this. I promise you that it will be worth it. I am always sceptical of Ted talks because they are so hit and miss, but this one was recommended to me. And hence I am recommending it to you. If that is not enough, then in various articles and journals, this talk has been cited as one of the most popular of all time and has racked over 15,000,000 views. Has that piqued your interest?
Many of us engage in mock psychology. We ask questions and listen to our friends and loved ones when they are troubled and we try to help. Everyone has a story and in the span of our lives, depending on how sociable or travelled we are, we hear so many different perspectives and viewpoints. As we grow older, the noise gets louder and louder and it becomes difficult to hear what we want to do. The natural connections that we make start to consume us.
That is why we are happiest when we are children. We are inherently selfish in our purpose to explore and society deems it acceptable for us to develop. So when is it time to stop exploring and developing? When are we supposed to know enough to be depended on? When we start university, a job or a family? I don’t really have answers to these questions, mainly because I am still trying to answer the first one. All I know that is after listening to thousands of stories (and I mean really listening) it makes it difficult to appear vulnerable.
Vulnerability is synonymous with weakness, frailty and naivety and so people naturally avoid the label. I have done my absolute best to do the same. I do not want to be vulnerable, and neither do I want people to perceive me in that way. But have I felt vulnerable? Yes. All the time. This is the magic of what I believe Brown conveys. We have to accept that vulnerability is inevitable, and it can debilitate us if we allow it to.
“I deserve love and belonging because I feel I am worthy of love and belonging” – it seems a simple enough proposition. It comes from within. The whole-hearted are those that are not afraid of taking risks even though it may lead to disaster. They are mavericks who want to write the next story even if it means breaking the pen. This can be condensed into a three word affirmation – “I AM ENOUGH.”
I have watched this talk about 10 times already and every time it makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Because no one is exempt from this – not even Brown herself. We are all surrounded by connection, but isn’t it time we started telling ourselves we were worthy? Even it is just once by reading this?